Create a Simple Routine

After divorce, mornings, evenings, and everything in between can feel different. Your schedule may have shifted, your habits changed, and your life may no longer follow the same predictable rhythm. That’s exactly when a simple, steady routine can help you feel grounded again.

A good routine doesn’t have to be a color-coded, minute-by-minute plan. Instead, it should be gentle, flexible, and easy to follow — something that creates comfort, reduces stress, and gives you a stable foundation to rebuild from.

The Importance of a Routine After Divorce

Major life changes can throw your nervous system into fight-or-flight mode. You’re adapting, but your mind still craves familiar rhythms. A routine provides:

A sense of normalcy in the midst of change.
Fewer daily decisions, saving energy for what matters.
Moments of calm that prevent emotional overwhelm.
Confidence from small, consistent wins.

You’re not rebuilding life overnight — routines are the framework that let you place each brick with purpose.

Step 1: Start Small

One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to redesign their entire day at once. That leads to overwhelm. Instead, choose 1–3 small actions you’ll do every day, no matter what. For example:

Make your bed.
Drink a full glass of water in the morning.
Take a 5-minute walk after lunch.

These micro-habits signal to your brain and body that you’re safe and steady. Over time, they build momentum.

Step 2: Anchor Your Day

Use “anchors” — regular daily events — to attach new habits to. Examples of anchors include:

Brushing your teeth.
Making morning coffee or tea.
Eating lunch.
Turning off lights at bedtime.

If you want to start journaling, do it right after your morning coffee. If you want to stretch in the evenings, link it to brushing your teeth at night. Anchoring makes habits easier to remember and stick with.

Step 3: Add Joy

After divorce, it’s easy to live in “survival mode,” but healing is also about bringing joy back into your days. Add small, enjoyable moments into your routine:

Light a candle while you cook.
Play music you love while getting ready in the morning.
Read a few pages of something uplifting before bed.
Step outside for fresh air and sunshine.

Step 4: Take Care of Yourself

Physical well-being is just as important as emotional healing. Build these into your weekly routine:

Move your body daily — walk, stretch, dance, or do a workout.
Eat nourishing meals.
Stay hydrated — keep a water bottle nearby.
Get consistent, restful sleep.

You don’t need perfection — you just need enough structure to support your body as you do the emotional work of rebuilding.

Step 5: Keep It Flexible

Life after divorce is unpredictable, especially with custody schedules, work demands, and emotional ups and downs. If your routine is too rigid, you’ll feel like you’ve failed when you miss a step.

Instead:

Treat your routine as a framework, not a strict timetable.
Have “backup” habits for low-energy days.
Adapt without guilt when life shifts.

Step 6: Create Transition Rituals

Switching roles throughout the day — from work to parenting to self-care — can be jarring. Transition rituals help your mind and body shift gears smoothly. Examples:

Morning transition: Light a candle and take three deep breaths before work.
Work-to-home transition: Play a favorite song after logging off.
Bedtime transition: Turn off screens 30 minutes before sleep, read, or meditate.

Step 7: Review and Adjust Weekly

At the end of each week, take five minutes to reflect:

What worked well?
What felt forced or unnecessary?
What’s one small thing I can add, remove, or change?

Adjustments aren’t failures — they’re part of fine-tuning your life.

Sample Gentle Post-Divorce Routine

Morning

Drink a full glass of water.
Open the curtains for natural light.
Stretch or walk for 5 minutes.
Enjoy coffee or tea and write for five minutes.

Afternoon

Move for a few minutes — walk, stretch, or dance.
Eat a nourishing lunch.
Complete one small household task.

Evening

Cook with music playing.
Dim the lights or light candles for calm.
Read or relax without screens before bed.
Go to bed at a consistent time.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to rebuild your life in a day, and you don’t need to “have it all together.” A routine is simply a way to give yourself small islands of stability while you work through change.

Those small moments add up — and before long, your routine will shift from being a survival tool to becoming the life you truly want to live.

Your Next Step

Pick one small thing to add to your day — today, not next week. Maybe it’s drinking water first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s playing your favorite song before bed. Small steps build into big change.

Because when those moments stack up, you’ll realize something powerful: you’re not just setting a routine — you’re setting your life.

Create A Simple Routine